Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
