Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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