i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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