tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
