im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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