? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Screwed.edu
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
