Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i out mim tonsoeep
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