talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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