Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
