But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
