Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
