so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
When are your genitals available?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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