In the future we'll all be gay
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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