id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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