She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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