If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize