:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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