Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
