i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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