Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
