So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
