I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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