It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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