problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize