I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
