My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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