well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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