that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
