We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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