i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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