are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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