"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
