What did we do last night that was yellow?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
