No awkward lesbian experiences without me
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
