She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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