Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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