she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
this will be a night to untag.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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