yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
