I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize