Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
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Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
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His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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