Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
