Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
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I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
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I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm getting married
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.