Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
high people should be assigned attendants
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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