He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just cropdusted the office
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
