I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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