yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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