Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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