i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
