i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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