You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
