so that wasnt chicken after all
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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