Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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