he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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