i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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