Can i not drive my cunt home
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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