i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
