i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
