Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize