I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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